Have you ever been so sure of something? As in, you’ve been absolutely 110% sure you got a job before the offer came. Or you were overly confident that you nailed an exam before you got your actual grade? Or you were pretty much convinced that a guy or a girl liked you? But despite your thoughts, you are totally caught off guard when you find out you were wrong. You didn’t get the job. You didn’t do so hot on your exam. So-and-so doesn’t actually like you. It’s like, what? How? Are you really that delusional?
Well… the answer is yes. We are all delusional as fuck. This is due to a wide variety of things: 1. We believe what we want to believe, 2. We don’t listen to other people unless they are telling us what we want to hear, and 3. We often forget that we are not the only people on the planet and other factors may be involved when going for a job, relationship, etc.
That is why I decided to come here today to give you some hard hitting factual truth so you stop playing mind games with yourself, and maybe save yourself a minute or 65 of overanalyzing EVERYTHING.
1. Yes, you are just a booty call.
If you feel like you’re a booty call, chances are you’re a fucking booty call. If he’s only contacting you to hook up, guess what? That’s all he wants from you. If you want more, speak up. And if you don’t get more, peace out.
2. No one is “afraid of commitment.”
They just don’t want to commit to you. Sure commitment can be scary, but when you like someone enough, you’ll man the fuck up and commit. Basically, you will be afraid to commit to something until you’re more afraid to lose something. Love trumps fear guys.
3. No one is “too busy for a relationship.”
If someone wants to be with you, they’ll make time for you. Why the fuck do you think “long distance relationships” exist? Some people in long distance relationships — or scratch that, even people who LIVE TOGETHER — are so busy (for example: with opposite work schedules) that they barely get to see each other or have time to talk. But people who really enjoy each other make relationships happen because when they do get to spend time together, it’s worth it. Oh and, they have no interest being with anyone else.
4. Timing is never “wrong.”
That’s just a good excuse to get yourself out of committing to something JUST IN CASE something better comes along. This goes back to what we talked about above.
5. If he LIKES you, he will tell you that.
IT’S. THAT. SIMPLE.
6. And um, no, you are not the exception.
Don’t even go there. Stop making excuses. Seriously. Listen to yourself.
I mean, come on people.
If someone would rather see what else is out there before committing to you fully and completely, chance most definitely is that he or she is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. If someone really wants to be with you, they’ll tie you down immede — no if’s, and’s, or but’s.
We’re not in college anymore. We’re in our twenties. Some in our early 20s. Some in our mid-20s. And some in our late-20s. And while you (hopefully) feel young (because you are), there is no point wasting time on someone who “isn’t sure” at ANY point in your 20s. You’re better than that. And you certainly deserve more than that.
You can keep kidding yourself for as long as you want that it’s okay that you haven’t progressed to a “serious” or “official” title in your nonexistent relationship. Or “fauxlationship,” as it should be called. But seriously – overanalyzing his every word, text, and move — It’s a waste of your time. You’re only in a relationship with yourself at this point.
Hashtag MOVE ON. Stop playing games. Put yourself out there. Find someone who actually wants to be with you, no matter what the situation is.
Oh and one last thing…
7. Everything happens for a reason.
It’s true. So you just ended a relationship? Your most recent hook up stopped returning your calls? You’re just now realizing that he’s never actually going to commit to you? You went after a guy for way too long to finally realize he was an asshole after you had sex? WHATEVER. All of these things will not only make you a stronger and smarter person going forward, but accepting the fact these phases in your life are over will only help you progress to the next phase in your life — whether that be finding the one, or finding the NEXT one.
If two people like each other, they will be together. It’s that simple. (Until you date for 5+ years and fight like animals in the wilderness of course, then you’re allowed to question shit, but anyway…)
There should be no questions. No games. No waiting. No IDKs.
I mean, When Harry Met Sally was a cool movie and all, but why the fuck did it take them so long to realize and admit that they wanted to be together? What were they waiting for? Because clearly, they never found it. Don’t you want to be with someone who knows they want to be with you NOW? Yeah? So go out and find them.
Good luck y’all.