Match.com has these new commercials in which some guy is walking around asking random people if they are single, followed by the question “Are you on Match? … Why not?” Most of these singles are caught completely off guard, and answer something like “No, I just thought I could date on my own.” Most of these singles also appear to be in their late twenties to early thirties, Match’s target audience. These days, online dating is all the rage. Seriously, I think all of my single friends are on Tinder, and my friends in new relationships met their S/O on Tinder, OkCupid, Match, or some other site. Gone are the days of “meet-cutes” and set-ups and work flings. This is the Age of Techno-Dating. So, are you ready?
1. Your parents are nagging. “Why don’t you go out anymore?” “I don’t want to be too old when the grandkids finally come.” “Netflix is not a socially acceptable answer for your relationship status.” They are bugging you, and you know they’re mostly right.
2. You don’t enjoy meeting coeds at the bar anymore. In fact, going out in general these days is pretty much out of the question. You’re at the age where your answer to “How did you two meet?” should not be “at Club XYZ.” People don’t want to hear that when you’re “older,” and you’re embarrassed to say that.
3. You’re the token “single friend” in your friend group. It’s like they almost count on you to not have a date to anything. You always end up fifth-wheeling with your besties/bros and their mates. It never bothered you when your friends were hanging with a different guy/gal every weekend, but now these people are buckling down and you feel oh so awkward
4. You loathe hearing the words, “I know someone who would be PERFECT for you!” Every time you turn around, someone is trying to blind-date you with their friend/acquaintance/coworker/second cousin, and it is exhausting. You reject most of these offers because you don’t want pity dates, but sometimes a pity date would be better than no date.
5. You’ve been out of your serious relationship for over a year. You cannot use Brad’s cheating ways and your “broken heart” as an excuse anymore. It’s time to leave the past where it belongs and get out there. Yes, it’s much easier to watch PS I Love You and sob into a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s every Friday, but let’s be real: no one’s really happy in that situation.
6. You’re looking for more than drunken hook-ups and booty-calls. There comes a time in the lives of most people that the idea of hooking up with different people every weekend is no longer exciting or even interesting. You want to be able to rely on someone to be your date all the time, not just when they need you.
7. You find yourself doing the left-hand-check way too often. This means you’re old enough to date people who are old enough to be married (WHAT?!). This also means that you aren’t just looking for a fling – you’re looking for the real deal. When the hell did all of this happen?