+1 Minus 1 Boyfriend

Author: Lauren Certo

Like many times before, I recently was forced to refer back to timeless television shows such as “Sex and the City” and “Friends” to try and understand life’s crazy lessons.  The other night I received a wedding invitation with a +1 when I am currently -1 male companion.

Now, I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the gesture; I’m flattered that the bride-to-be thought enough to actually include me in the adult dating/relationship pool.  However, I feel like I’m past the age where it’s acceptable to bring a gay male friend or a girlfriend who can assist me in taking advantage of the open bar.

This problem has been an issue since the beginning of time, which for most of us, was at the peak of our awkward phases in middle school.  It started with a simple boy/girl dance.  You had to have a date.  You weren’t anyone until you had a date, which literally meant your date’s mom would pick you up and drop you off at your house.  Eventually it escalated to prom.  These events that meant the world to you as a girl, but made you feel like absolute crap if you went solo.  Why?

Now, as I try to navigate through this adult world…it’s weddings.  I have been to four weddings in the past year, all of which I have gotten +1’s, all of which I have attended alone.  And nothing makes you feel more alone than watching a close friend or family member get married, playing a slow song at the event, and there you are being THAT chick sitting at the table drinking your vodka soda, alone.  You get the sad girl head tilt from your Aunt Sue, “still single are we?”—it makes you feel doomed for eternity and because we all secretly think the world revolves around us (don’t lie)…you think people are staring at your lonely ass thinking what’s wrong with her?

So for all you single 20something ladies—here’s to us!  You are not alone and there’s nothing wrong with going stag—we don’t have reptile skin underneath our Nordstrom Rack dress—we’re single.  So at your next wedding, when the Conga Line song bumps through the D.J. booth instead of sulking in the corner (like me,) grab on for dear life to a stranger’s hips and embrace your single self.  It’s time to celebrate being young and unattached…for now.

And if that doesn’t work, knock back a few more free drinks…we all have alcohol in the mean time.

“In New York, they say you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment. So, let’s say you have two out of three, and they’re fabulous. Why do we let the one thing we don’t have affect how we feel about all the things we do have? Why does one minus a plus one feel like it adds up to zero?”—The Wisest Bitch on the Planet, Carrie Bradshaw.

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